and yet we are reminded that amidst the troubles, we were still given countless blessings (later on that). i am proud how Filipinos' optimism seem so boundless, that even endless political bickerings, calamities, predictions of doom and even the worst news cannot dampen that. a common thing among us is that despite and despite, we still believe that things will eventually get better.. going back to the blessings, me being able to write this blog entry means i am still alive, in its literal context mind you :D (you might wanna read a previous entry to comprehend that last sentence). my family, though separated by physical distance, has been healthy and safe. i am still employed, which is very important since i provide for my other two siblings, though i complain of my sched most of the time :) and countless others i won't have much space to write about.. but because i had spent most of my waking hours sitting in front of my laptop pondering on how to solve technical issues (read: WORK), 2006 has passed me like a blur, a mere dot on the horizon. in spite of that the lazy person in me has managed to find time to get out whenever my work sched permits (believe me there are hardly any).. there were many firsts last year for me. first time to be back in Samar (my mother's province) after 16 years though for a sad reason, our Lolo's burial. first time to set my foot on Cebu grounds after 21 years and first time to go back to Mindanao after 23 years. first time in Boracay, Bohol, Camiguin and Cagayan de Oro all in 2006! how about first time to be hospitalized since i was 3 years old hehe, which i don't wish for a next trip in my lifetime.. see if you can take this: first time i heard from someone that her first impression of me was that i am gay!! abah, nalokah ang lolo mo huh! of all people, ako pa?!?! may gaotie na nga ako at rocker ang gusto kong dating, bading pa rin daw?? grabe na itech! ika nga ni pareng Mikee, ang shoorraayyy!! ;p. okay lang, i can actually live with that. my tatay used to call me bakla in high school when he sees me sporting a long hair-do ;p. he has a thing for the army cut (guys out there you know what i'm telling ya, the two-by-three haircut sa barbershop hehe) that he wants us boys in the family to have that. oh well, so much for the bakla thing. for the record, i am not! (mukhang guilty! haha) ;p.
new year in its classical context is regarded as a time for preparation. but i believe it is also a time to look into ourselves and evaluate how the previous year has been and how we can be better in the next. in that regard, allow me to regale you with some areas of my life i think i've learned and needs to improve on:
personal. hmm first on the list is that kelangan ko bawasan ang kayabangan ko :D i get in trouble most of the time because of that feeling of self-respect and personal worth, satisfaction of my own achievements. when these things start to creep in into my system, ayun na nagiging isa't kalahating mayabang na ako. and i've asked a handful of people of what i need to change and this tops their lists too, so di na ko kokontra hehe.. next is something that goes hand in hand with the first. if you know me better, then you'll agree na yung init ng ulo ko is kelangan ko din bawasan hehe. i think it runs in the family, my nanay hailing from Samar (Waray) might be the reason. peace nanay! wag niyo ko multuhin haha.. next is that i need to be sober when it comes to alcohol consumption. i remember years ago when i said i'm not gonna drink anymore because of health reasons but the challenge seemed to have outmatched my promise. i think the keyword there is discipline.. whatelse? ahh, when people treat me unjustly me for any reason, i find it very hard or i don't initiate at all to make peace with them (mayabang talaga eh noh). sometimes umaabot pa sa time na the big fella upstairs reminds me to let go of my pride. sana i could learn to not look at whose fault is it but start to be humble and initiate. haayy hirap *kamot ulo*.. during our recent team building i remember my beloved team (NOL and RTS) when asked on what i need to improve on, lahat sila sabi "pumasok daw ako ng maaga at wag mali-late" hehe.. okay noted. err i'll try ;p. (if you have suggestions, ilagay niyo lang sa comment section at idadagdag ko dito. promise i won't get back at you ;p.)
*enjoying the Boracay sand, taken on Sept. 3
faith. this is where i think i messed up bad this year. again. though i have failed miserably in my duties as a believer, i know God still believes in me. indeed, God became man because God believes in us. He sees beauty where we can only find ugliness, hope where we can only find despair. perhaps, He became man to tell us that despite our foibles and squabbles, He still beholds us as the crowning glory of His creation. we should have more confidence then. i should have more confidence then :) may i be reminded always that He is to be glorified in every success i attain, in every failure that He wants me to learn from it, in every problem that He wants me to depend on Him, in a deep challenge that it is okay to admit that i am afraid and that i need Him at my side.
family. i love my family no question about it. i've learned to sacrifice even my own time and satisfaction just for them. but inspite of that i still think i haven't been a good kuya to my younger brother Samuel. there are times when we get into a fight which i realize later that i should have been more patient para di na nangyari. i ignore him when i come home tired from work. i think God allowed him to be how he is for us (his siblings) to learn to love people unconditionally. bawi ako sayo.. as for my kuya, medyo ganon din. i often ignore him when we are on the phone kasi ba naman parang bata na tanong nang tanong ng kahit ano hehehe. eh mahal tumawag overseas. pero of course when he confides of his personal problems i make sure i listen. i remember our fights (sapakan lang nung mga bata pa pero nung lumaon may hawak na kaming tig-isang kutsilyo. Waray eh ;p.) when we were young and i believe those "bonding moments" (for lack of a better term) binded us firmly.. my two sisters, i'm happy they're in good terms after nanay's death.. nanay, i miss her so much. iba pa rin talaga ang mother's love. so for those who still have their mothers with them, always love them dearly.. to Michael, well i hope you finish your studies. that's the only thing people can't take away from you. try to stretch those muscles sometimes. wag puro nood ng TV ha. kumbaga sa tagalog, wag kang batugan okay? but of course you know i love you bro!.. and to my tatay, you're the best in the world! kahit sa pamilya eh tayo lang ang magka-kulay, okay lang. i've learned things from you which i am proud of today. sayo ko rin namana ang talino at pagkakaroon ng abilidad sa buhay. thank you for those times of discipline regardless of how you imposed them hehe (sinturon, walis, pingot, palo at kahit ano pa yun). just wanted to quote this,
"If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it... No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
i love y'all!
friends. i'd say i have fairly made good friends with people this year which i am happy about. worthy of mentioning is that a handful of them are from the office. one-two punch dyan is BFFs (palitan na nga natin toh, it's so gay) Rona and Brian. i honestly don't know how we clicked, though i don't like you both wala akong nagawa, as if i had a choice ;p. in our failures and successes sa trabaho man o sa buhay, it'd be great to share them with each other. eto lang ang makita kong mga pics natin eh, nakakapagod maghanap..
*aboard Cebu Pacific, off to CDO on Nov. 23
*that mafia look.
of course, my beloved (extended/nuclear) teams NOL, RTS, Gateway and Techniques. our times together couldn't be that happier. just look at our Boracay trip picture, don't we all look ecstatic? ay kayo lang pala ang nandyan ;p. sana magsama sama pa tayo ng matagal.
*taken @ Boracay on Sept. 3
*jumpshot at the Willy's Rock, Boracay, taken on Sept. 5
out-of-office friends Mikee, Rose and Obray thank you as well for the great times we've shared last year. i wouldn't forget our first encounter, that Manila-Banaue-Sagada roadtrip wherein Mark, Lems and i were betting on whether Obray is the boypren of Mikee hahaha joke lang ;p. kidding aside, you guys are so cool. kain ulit tayo sa Dampa pero dahan dahan sa oysters ha! wehehe ;p here's to the good times!
*taken @ Tagbilaran, Bohol on the 4th of July
*taken @ Malapascua, Cebu on July 1
to katz and aileen, haha humabol pa. you guys are cool and fun to be with. salamat sa pagkakataon na maging kaibigan niyo. hope we can spend more time together, hang out or gimik minsan. kayo taya ;p. si katz kasi, laging puno ang booking. hirap magpa-sched ;p. peace! here's to a lasting friendship :)
*taken @ Tiananmen Bar, Makati Ave. on December 9
and lastly to the 11 people i was with when that fatal accident happened. i believe everything happens for a reason and for whatever purpose it is only God knows. good things have come out of that incident though, one is that i have felt a special bond amongst ourselves. another is that we have put to rest any ill feelings we have had towards one another, if there are any (guilty ata ako dito ah, o ako ang may sala?). i am grateful we all survived.
*taken @ Divisoria, CDO on Nov. 26
*one for all, all for one.
*life goes on :)
i wouldn't know what the coming year has to offer but one thing i'll try to do is making the conscious effort to live my life a day at a time and savor every moment with it. what do i wish to see? hmmm simple lang. good health for me, my family and closest friends. lots of love and make more friends. yun lang po :)
may God bless us all this 2007 and may this be a fruitful and meaningful year! on a final note, let me leave you with an old Italian wish..
"Vive bene, spesso l'amore, di risata molto." go figure out :D
happy new year again everyone! cheers to the good times!!!
